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Name/email
(email under the link)
Nom/email
(l'adresse email se trouve sous le lien)
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What is the best way to kill yourself
when you're under 13 ?
Quelle est la meilleure forme de
suicide pour les moins de 13 ans ?
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My comment
(with my email under the link)
Mon commentaire
(avec mon adresse email sous le lien)
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Noriyuki
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You should use the rope. That's the best way for you. Don't miss it.
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Now, Noriyuki wants me to hang myself, but he used to be madly in love
with me ! Hmmm, I guess that's the reason why
...
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Paul Michaud
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Devenir un adulte.
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Paul a du se suicider, car il est un adulte.
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Pandana
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* Trespassing in the elephant garden or tiger cage of Artis
* Tomber en amour avec barbebleu
* Die name Rumpfelstälchen vergessen
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First I imagined that the trilingual Pandana was emailing from India. But
since he mentions Artis (our local zoo) I guess he is from Amsterdam.
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Marko K. Stipanicic
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By putting a syringe full of amonia into a persons temple and slowly dying
then having a good friend cut all major tendons like the achilies heel
and kneecaps so you cant ring for medical help the blood loss will seem
minimal due to the amonia injection(s)
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Very chic and elaborate. If I can ever achieve such a sophisticated suicide,
I will become eternally famous.
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Miles Bellas
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I suggest something wild and exotic. Maybe drinking the venom of a certain
South American tree frog, of which one drop would kill a thousand men.
That or attach oneself to a flaming comet hurtling through the milky way
at a million miles a second.
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Miles is such a poet ! A titanic poet
!
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Dominique Luga
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STP, enlève moi de ta liste, même pour de la dérision
, ça ne me fait pas rire je n'irai pas voir ton site, désolée,
je préfère la vie.
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Rayée de ma liste. Pauvre chérie ....
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B.Comings
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1.Visit mouchette's website.
2.After studying the suicide kit and being so saddened by the bankruptcy
of what passes for art in the 1990's,
3.cry yourself to death.
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Good to know someone did visit my website !
I was only talking about suicide and not how
to murder my visitors.
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Cyril
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Rester plus de 4 H/j devant un tube cathodique ou (deux) de ses équivalents.
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Ce qui signifie que je suis en train de me suicider à rester si
longtemps devant l'écran de mon
ordinateur ?
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Robert Charles Staton
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In a clean bathtub, filled with sparkling water, wash and rinse your hair,
reach for the hair drier, grasp it firmly in your hands. feel the warm,
comforting rush of air, close your eyes, say your prayers,...let go...quickly
vanish...alone and unknown...
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Does that mean one could die of a beautiful hairdo
?
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Elisa Giaccardi
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it's a joke, isn't it ? I don't want you to die!
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Ok, Elisa, don't worry !. It's only meant for other
kids ...
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Judith Schwarz
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Engorge yourself on fruitloops.
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I wish I knew how many one needs ....
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Arnold Jan Quanjer
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Inject yourself with yogidrink (see further)
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Yogidrink with fruit or natural ?
(see further)
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Bernardo
Schiavetta
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Bons suicides pour les fêtes !! Et encore des meilleurs sucides pour
l'an prochain!! Bisous Mouchette !!!! Je t'écrirai bientôt
!!!
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Bien sûr, il vaudrait mieux que je ne me suicide pas tout de suite
si je veux lire sa lettre. Est-ce une
ruse de sa part ?
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Sophiana
Organa
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Effectivement il n'existe aucune info sur la question pour les enfants
comme pour les adultes. Je ne suis pas une grande traditionaliste en général,
pourtant, je pense que depuis quelques siècles on a bien exploré
les différentes formes de suicides et que l'innovation pour l'innovation
apporterait quelque chose d'artificiel à une "activité" qui
nie l'artifice. (ce qui n'exclut pas une forme de mise en scène).
Toujours est-il qu'étant une experience unique, tant qu'à
faire, autant être conscient de ce qui se passe. C'est pourquoi je
trouve que s'ouvrir les veines n'est pas trop mal (toujours éviter
les tendons,sinon ça fait mal!). La noyade n'est pas négligeable
non plus d'ailleurs, par contre la pendaison doit être paniquante,et
puis c'est trop moche. Sans oublier la mise en scène: si c'est un
acte non renouvable, autant que ce soit inoubliable pour les autres aussi!
Voilà, à quand des cours et des manuels de suicide à
l'école?! Bisous
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Je suis très flattée d'avoir eu une réponse si experte
de la part d'une vraie philosophe universitaire. Un jour, Sophiana, qui
est déjà si brillante, écrira un bouquin très
sérieux où elle ne parlera que de moi et de mon suicide.
Mais je ne serai plus là pour
en profiter ....
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Takugi Kogo
My japanese
suicide URL
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just switch an outlet to become a still life
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Takugi is always so beautifully cryptic: I need an afterlife
to understand what "switching an outlet" means. By "still life", he certainly
means "nature morte".
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Coen van Zwol
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My, my! you guys are getting rude. Is this some kind of phoney psychological
experiment to see how far we go? Enough for me. Besides, kids know how
to kill themselves, surely don't need my help. Have fun. Bye now.
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No, Coen, we don't know how to kill
ourselves, don't be so angry !
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cerraeh
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Start with a large bottle of syrup of epichac, which can be bought over
the counter by anyone...then mix it up with a large quanity of rubbing
alcohol and drink kit up quickly...
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I made a web search on the word "epichac"
and I came back with nothing !
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Marko K. Stipanicic
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Eat household medication in vast quantities
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If epichac is the name of some household
medication, then nothing is lost.
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Georges Sand et
Frederic Chopin
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Etre trop souvent dans des films...
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Ou bien sur le net...
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Bart
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-cross a busy motorway
-drown yourself if you can't swim
-try to fly from a high building
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3 suicides are always better than one but how
many times can you die?
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Marco
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eat yourself to death, the food is there anyway
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That can take long. A hundred years,
sometimes.
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Pierre Rezus
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Not killing yourself. It's worse to live than to commit suicide. Therefore
the best way to kill yourself is ruining your life, by living on.
(stupid question, stupid answer)
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Pierre won the first prize in the category "stupid
answer", but no, my question was not stupid: I always knew suicide
is meant to keep your life perfect and that's why you do it. It's never
too early to become perfect.
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Marcel
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abortion
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I can't go back to my mother's womb just like this, can I ?
Or you mean I should get pregnant, have an abortion and die of it? Then
I have to inquire first what is the best way to get
pregnant when you're under 13.
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Luis
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Try live.
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I am trying already !
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Gry
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You must create such a stupid Web site - somebody comes and kills you at
least !
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Will it be you ?
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Toine
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Je ne pense pas qu'il est bien de vouloir se suicider avant 13 ans ! Qu'est-ce
le suicide ? C'est une forme d'hypocrisie qui dit que la personne qui veut
se suicider renonce et n'a pas le courage d'affronter la vie réelle
! Est-ce bien utile ? C'est la réponse que je voudrais connaitre...
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Et pourquoi n'aurait-on pas le droit d'être lâche
et hypocrite avant 13 ans ? C'est la réponse que je voudrais
connaitre....
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Ian
Carr-Harris, in collaboration with Yvonne Lammerich
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On ways to commit suicide if you are under 13 years old:
Version #1 ("reductio ad absurdum"):
(motivation: to demonstrate ultimate authority) (this version is most appropriate
for girls, and is the suggestion of Yvonne Lammerich of Montreal))
It is important to appear dramatic. Be sure that you are dressed so that
you are painfully attractive, particularly to your adults. Choose a moment
when the adults are entertaining important friends, and make sure that
they are all together in one room - preferably the dining room.
sub version A: designed to defer the suicide: at the right moment,
take a deep breath and tie a clear plastic bag onto your head so that it
is firmly closed around the neck; use a red ribbon. Now walk into the dining
room quietly as though you were (already) an apparition. Stand silently
until: a) an adult notices you and cries in alarm; b) you fall down gracefully
on your side.
sub version B: designed to actually complete the suicide (not recommended):
this version requires a set of handcuffs; select a room to which the adults
will soon retire, and lie down on the floor near a large sofa or heavy
table. Tie the bag over your head and place your hands on both sides of
the table or sofa leg. Put on the handcuffs so that your hands are locked
around the leg. Think about what they will say when they find you (beautifully)
dead.
Version #2("Dare to be a Daniel"):
(motivation: to demonstrate tragic courage) (this version is most appropriate
for boys, and is the suggestion of Ian Carr-Harris of Toronto) (the inspiration
comes from the biblical reference and a song: "Dare to be a Daniel, Dare
to stand alone. Dare to have a purpose firm, Dare to make it known.")
It is important to appear tragic. Be sure to dress heroically (this can
include being completely naked). You must invite a conflict of some kind
- preferably with your father, and it must have a moral dimension so that
your position is one of (avenging) Truth. It is best to choose a moment
when the whole family is assembled with friends, perhaps during an elegant
dinner. The conflict must result in banishment, probably to your room.
sub version A: designed to defer the suicide: assemble a hangman's
rope and position yourself carefully on top of a chair or table with the
rope around your neck. When you hear the adults' conversation subside to
the point at which they will hear you, push a heavy object over so that
it makes a crash; you will hear a pause, and someone will call or come
to see what caused it. Just before they come to your room, carefully ease
yourself off the table or chair so that you are hanging from the rope (if
possible, push the chair or table over at the same time)
sub version B: designed to complete the suicide (not recommended)
As in version A, except that you maintain absolute silence. Think about
what they will say when they find you (impressively) dead.
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I can't express how proud I am to have received these suicide proposal.
Somehow, it gives me the temptation to
become adult:
1) to be able to write such a fantastic suicide proposal
2) to stand a chance to have a child who would (try to) commit suicide
for me like this.
(Personnally, I have given up the ambition to become so interesting for
my adults)
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janne glad
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If you really want to commit suicide, you do not think of the best way
to do it; you simply roll yourself tightly into an old carpet and down
a wretched little riverbank into the muddy water - and you do not pretend
suicide is the way to maintain your life perfect.
However, if you need something that you can put in a box for children to
play suicide with, I suggest a small bottle made of coloured glass, marked
"Poison". The liquid should be dark like ink, yet glisten if you hold the
bottle in bright sunlight. The capsule should be sealed in an old-fashioned
manner.
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I think janne is completely right. Only death is perfect, not suicide.
And the suicide toy she describes is lovely.
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Henk Fakkeldij
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1) Other kids love to do it for you at that age, so dont worry.
2) Try regression therapie, go back at that age.
3) Strangle sex
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Here, you don't have 3 different forms of suicides but answers to 3 different
Mouchettes. Interesting!
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Michael Gibbs
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Stuff yourself with sweets (preferably Belgian pralines. If that
doesn't work, you could always try choking to death on a gobstopper. Sweet
dreams!
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Food suicides are really too popular lately ... Well, that gobstopper thing
is quite an idea (if I only knew where
you could buy them here..)
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Isaak Cazemier 1
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Jump in front of the TGV (Or read my second
proposal)
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(Better be fast enough)
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Sophie Samama
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Un adulte est très certainement un enfant suicidé, à
moins quíl ne soit un enfant assassiné. Un seul suicide possible
ma chère Mouchette: VIVRE !
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Suicide logique ou logique suicidaire? Hmm, encore une impasse
signifiante ...
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Mirjam
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Throw yourself from your Barbiehouse (for girls) or play real life wargames
with your friends (for boys)
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Mirjam is just the kind of girl I would like to invite to my birthday party
to play with me and help me throw the whole birthday cake out of the window
(if I only had a birthday ...) !
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Wim
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Word lid van Vindicat. Ga in een Vindicat huis wonen en drink een
liter Hooghoudt Jonge graanjenever. Succes verzekerd.
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Vindicat ??????????
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Glenn
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How about being tickled to death ?
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Tickling yourself is not possible,
let alone to death ... If let someone do it to me, it's a murder. Well,
now see further ...
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Denis
Daneau
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Amours et rires.
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Et chatouilles ?...
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Sarah Tissandier
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Tu as bien le droit d'être tout ce que tu veux à treize
ans, mais moi, je trouve que la raison la plus valable pour ne pas se suicider
à cet age (certes ingrat), c'est que tu entres ainsi dans les statistiques
: la grande majorité des suicides se produisent autour de cet age
(ne me demande pas les chiffres exacts car je ne les ai pas en tête)
donc c'est hyper banal et tellement ado....
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Mais enfin je n'ai jamais demandé à quiconque pourquoi
se suicider ou pourquoi ne pas suicider à 13 ans ! Non, j'ai seulement
voulu savoir comment .
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Ed Fortenberry
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Chère Mouchette,
Joyeux Noël, and happy new year!
Did you ever hear the Queen song about suicide? Maybe that will give you
some interesting ideas about it.
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Unfortunately not ... Outside
the web I hardly know anything, you know ...
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Ton
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search how to kill yourself on the internet
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That's exactly what I'm doing, dummy!
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Jo Goddard
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fall out of a tree
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Everybody is tired. Is boredom
a form of suicide ...
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name = *NONE*
email = *NONE*
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This sight is gross. Your making it seem like suicide is good. I
think you should get real. Maybe get some help.
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My commentary =*NONE*
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lyne landry
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j'espere que tu n'est pas serieuse! essais de ne plus respirer jusqu'a
ce que mort s'en suive. c idiot ce que je te dis? c idiot ta question aussi.
essais-donc de trouver des truck pour grandir et t'épanouir à
la place.
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J'aimerais bien avoir une copine comme lyne comme ça on pourrait
jouer au suicide et bien rigoler (surtout
si ça l'énerve)
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jiminy
cricket
a.k.a
Glenn
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Allow me to propose this scenario. You are restrained, held down by some
sticky white substance that could be called Elmer's. You would like to
resist but you cannot speak because your mouth is full if Jell-O gelatin.
(The synthetic lime green kind they serve in cafeteria's with bits of fruit
cut up in it). I apply the feather duster to the soles of your feet. You
are desperate to laugh but each gasp forces the jello deeper into your
breathing passages. In the end you are overcome. The coroner's report makes
the unusual note that the deceased blood was sticky and green.
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It's still not a suicide: Glenn does want to murder
me and make it pass for a suicide
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Josselyne Naef
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Transform yourself into an image on your computer and click it off.
It is painless but it will be too sad for your fans. So think about it
first
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Don't worry, Josselyne, the day I decide to click my image off, I'll give
you a backup for eternal conservation.
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mailynh phan
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the best way to killl your self is over doctice of sleeping pills.
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I shall have to find out what an
over doctice is before I can kill myself that way ...
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la grande faucheuse
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Il était une fois, un système qui pour fonctionner
a besoin de vies; de petites vies bien médiocres, banales, tristes,
insignifiantes sur le destin de l'univers... du moins jusqu'à un
certain âge, celui de raison peut-être? Age ou il faudrait
laisser la nature faire son office et ne pas essayer de résister,
même pour le compte de ce système qui nous vend le pâle
reflet d'une existence qui à la longue devient pénible, si
obsolète, qu'il n' y a que le silence de l'écho pour répondre
à cette petite vie ...
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C'est sûrement la mort elle-même qui s'adresse à
moi; la preuve, c'est qu'elle n'a pas
de email, car qui peut répondre à la mort ?...
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| tobefrite |
rail de coke |
Un seul ???? |
| Jeroen |
euh... read a book before sleeping and suffocate in letters? |
What an appropriate death for a poet and text-manipulator like me !!!
I should even write myself a suicide
poem and suffocate with it. |
anonyme
sans email |
Le meilleur moyen de les empêcher de se tuer c'est de les écouter
et leur donner de l'amour. Il n'est pas nécessaire de chercher des
façons de les tuer. |
Dommage que le monsieur ou la dame ne m'aie pas laissé son nom
et son email afin de m'écouter et me donner de l'amour ...... Il
y aurait vraiment de quoi se suicider, n'est-ce
pas ? |
| Douellet |
Fumes un bon joint et ingurgite un litre
d'alcool de bois ( huile à lampe ).
Rassure toi te bien t'allonger dans un bon bain chaud.
Relaxe et passe à une meilleure vie!
Bonne chance et bonne réussite! |
Une vie meilleure ???
Je ne sais pas si je veux prendre le risque de commencer une nouvelle
vie ! Je songeais seulement à quitter celle-là. |
| Pierre |
faire fondre des lego dans ton jus d'orange et
consommer en grande quantité |
Je remercie Pierre de m'avoir sauvé
la vie: le lego n'a pas fondu .... |
| el tommo |
if you're a little girl go swimming and tie your hair to the drainage
grill under the water |
A pretty death. Ophelia revisited.
Also suitable for boys: they grow their hair nowadays. |
| Magali and
John |
Accepter les bonbons de l'etranger de la rue.
This could be a frightening way to die, but once you accept, you are
relieved of the responsibility, and anyway, most other forms of suicide
are pretty boring in comparison... |
But I want to do it myself
!
I won't call suicide boring after all the exciting suggestions I received. |
| The Somniloquy
Institute |
Change your identity. |
Whose identity ? |
anonyme
(diabolique) |
Se pendre, se tirer une balle, s'injecter du curare, s'entailler
les veines, je jeter d'un pont, se noyer, se cartonner en voiture (faut-il
savoir conduire), etc., etc., etc.
Il existe mille et une façons follement amusantes de se
suicider, celà dépend tout simplement de l'imagination et
de la détermination du sujet à rejoindre mon royaume.
Je suis en réalité un Vampire et pour moi rien
n'est plus divertissant que la mort, surtout lorsque celle-ci nous permet
d'aller au delà de la vie.
Je te salues bien bas et du plus profond de mon sommeil je goûtes
déjà au subtil nectar que représente ton sang pour
un être comme moi.
P.S.: C'est une de mes goules qui t'envoies ce message. Je ne peux le
signer |
Faut-il vouloir mourir pour
le seul désir de te connaitre ton nom ? |
| Micha
Albertini |
Te couper le Net pendant 3 jours ! c'est du suicide non?
Sinon, concassez une trentaine de comprimes genre anxiolitiques ou calmants,
et avaler cul sec ! le suicide mène à la mort ! :) |
Le suicide mène à
la mort: c'est la plus belle déclaration de toute cette page
!
Jusqu'à présent, ici, il n'y est pas encore arrivé
... |
| Isaak Cazemier
2 |
Ever seen the 'space bag' commercials?
It's a very handy way to preserve your clothes requiering a minimum of
space. Just put in your clothes, and remove all the air with a vacuum cleaner.
These bags are big enough for you to get into, and your body will be
perfectly preserved, just like a mummy. (read the
follow up) |
Neat death !
How do I remove the air ?
(read the follow up for the answer) |
| Arnold Jan
Quanjer |
It depends if you want to die natural or
with taste..........
I would prefer to die on passionfruit, wich is in my opinion the partydrug
in the catagory smartfruit. |
Arnold, you're just the kind of person I want to invite to my
next Xmas suicide party! |
| Gary Singer |
The difficulty in finding the correct solution is a 13 year old being
possibly too adult to see any simple answer. and of course searching for
the answers from adults being childish. Ah! but I do still love your hands.
Sweet dreams! |
Since you like my hands,
you may receive them as a post-mortem present when I die. |
| Rob |
People believe things that are written to be true, so just write
it down, or you go to a Hell's Angels pub and shout from the top of your
longs: 'Loosers!!!' |
I also believe everything written to be true, so everytime I
want something to become true, I write
it. It's just as easy as that. |
| Pelm |
-s'étouffer avec un paquet de malabar
-chercher dans les rues de Köln la réincarnation de M the
murderer
|
Encore une fois aller se faire suicider par quelqu'un !
Non. Je préfère le
malabar qui tue. |
| |
1-tenter de piquer la banane d'un bébé gorille
au zoo
2 descendre un piano du 5 ème étage à la cave
3- Ai-je encore un tentative pour l'award ?
4- J'ai horreur des gosses donc j'ai plein d'idées voyons qu'elle
est la moins dégueulasse ...
5- La laisser sur le bord de l'autoroute la nuit du 31 07 au
1 08 A6 .... n'importe où.
6- la mettre en stage avec R. Serra |
Eh, doucement, vieux sadique ! On vous a pas demandé
quel était le meilleur moyen de trucider une gamine !
Et anonyme, avec ça ! Heureusement, sinon je vous envoyais la police
belge aux trousses.
Je garde quand même l'idée du stage avec Richard Serra:
une mort minimaliste, c'est la classe! |
| Celio H.
Barreto Jr. |
Stand under a heavy object (no less than 500 tons) carefully
balanced on a supporting beam of some sort. Fall asleep. This method is
for those who wish to be part of the Golden Arches menu. |
I hate McDonald ! To eat them or be eaten by them is something I will
try to avoid, should I have to stay alive
forever. |
| Isaak Cazemier 3 |
I already expected the question how to remove the air. But I didn't
want to put too much detail in my text. But now you're asking, here's how
to put it to a good end:
Attach the end of the vacuum cleaner to the hole in the spacebag with
some tape. Then get in. From inside you should still be able to press the
big power button. Afterwhile, the cleaner is still running, but by then
you will be the last one to care about that. |
Death by
vacuum: instructions completed
Thanks Izaak ! |
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