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: : : —LISTEN, DENISE SAYS. —I'M GOING to be coming home late on Friday.
—Why? Johnny says.
—I've got a late shift and then there's a party.
—What party?
—It's nothing. There's this guy Joshua who works at the store; this week's his last week so he's having like a going-away thing.
—Can I come with you? Johnny asks.
—It's going to be pretty boring, Denise says. —It's going to be mostly work people. I don't even really want to go. I'll probably just go for like an hour or so and then I'll be right home.
—So you don't want me to go?
—It's not— Denise says. She spreads her hands. —It's not a matter of I want you to go or I don't want you to go. I don't even think about it in those terms.
—Why?
—Because I just can't imagine that you'd have any interest in going.
—Well obviously I have some interest or I wouldn't be asking, Johnny says.
—Do you want to go? Denise says. —Cause you can come. That's fine with me.
—Forget it, Johnny says.
—Oh, Denise says. —Now all of a sudden it's forget it.
—It's just, Johnny says, —if you're ashamed of me you can just come out and say it. You don't need to like make up excuses about it.
—What are you talking about? Denise says. —I'm not ashamed of you. I said you could come.
—You said I could come but you didn't say that you wanted me to come.
Denise exhales forcefully. —I don't even want to go to this stupid thing. It's going to be boring. I don't want you to be bored. I thought you'd have more fun hanging out here and just waiting until I got back.
—Yeah, cause hanging out here is so fun.
—What's that supposed to mean?
—Look, I'd just appreciate it if you just said it to my face, Johnny says.
—Said what?
—That you're ashamed of me.
—I keep telling you—
—You don't want your friends to see me, he says. —You think I'm stupid.
—I don't think you're stupid.
—You think I'm stupid and you think my friends are stupid.
—I don't think your friends are stupid.
—You said you don't want them coming around.
—I don't want them coming around because they're always getting high. And I know you, Johnny, I know you're going to want to get high with them. And I just don't think that's a good idea. Not after what you've been through.
—Fuck you, Johnny says. —At least when I get high I'm happy for an hour or two. Which is more than I can say about hanging out here, with you, having to look at your shitty art all day.
—Nice, Denise says. —Real nice. Tears leak out of the corners of her eyes but she does not sob. She holds her mouth firm. —Get the fuck out then.
—Maybe I will, says Johnny.
—Go then. Go over to Rick and Gerhard's and fucking smoke up and fucking make yourself happy then.
—Maybe I will, says Johnny.
—Good, she says. —Go then. She picks up the thing closest to her—a small, empty flowerpot—and she pitches it at him. He throws up his skinny arms to shield his face. The flowerpot hits the wall next to his head and explodes. Terra-cotta fragments rain down onto the couch.
—You stupid bitch, Johnny says. He jumps up and starts coming towards her but he bangs his shin on the coffee table and stumbles. She grabs an umbrella up off the floor and holds it up like a weapon.
—Don't touch me, she says. She swings the umbrella at him and he slaps it out of her hand. She yelps. He grabs both her shoulders and shoves her up against the wall. He yanks her towards him and then slams her backwards again; when her head hits the wall this time her sunglasses fall off. She looks into Johnny's angry, contorted face, then turns away. She looks at the floor. There's a shoe there. She studies it for a moment while Johnny's breathing gradually slows.
Finally she says —I'm just saying.
—Don't say anything, Johnny says.
—I'm just saying that if you don't want to be here you don't have to stay.
—I know, Johnny says. He lets go of her shoulders. —I know.
Denise says nothing.
—I want to stay, Johnny says.
Denise looks at the shoe.
—I want to stay, Johnny says. —I didn't mean what I said earlier.
—I know, Denise says.
—I'm sorry I'm like this, Johnny says. —I know I'm fucking everything up.
—You're just confused, Denise says.
—I don't deserve someone like you, Johnny says. —And I just get so afraid that you're going to leave me. You help me so much. I don't know what I would do without you. And so when you talk about some party that you're going to go to I think well, what if she meets someone there who she likes better than me? I mean, what if that happened? What would happen to me?
—That's not going to happen, Denise says. —I'm with you because I want to be with you. Not with anybody else.
—You help me so much, Johnny says. —You help me so much. I'm sorry I'm like this.
—It's OK, Denise says. —It's OK. She takes him in her arms. She strokes his hair. She can feel him shaking. —I'm sorry, he says. —I'm so sorry.
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